How Ancestry Can Help You Identify A Parent.
Well Hi There!
I am afraid I have rather neglected the blog recently, it is really hard to find the words to say - especially in Winter - I find.
Those of you who know me well will know that I love doing genetic genealogy and over the past few months (mostly the reason I’ve been neglecting my blog;)), I have been putting my skills to good use by using genetic genealogy to help people identify unknown parents.
So for anyone who is interested in this niche subject - here is a bit about how to use a dna test to identify your parents.
Lets Start:
So doing a dna test will tell me who my parents are?!
Yes and No. The Ancestry test will identify the families of your parents and if you have some good matches you should be able to work out your grandparents. If your grandparents have 5 boys who were all in the area you were conceived at the right time and of the right age, it could have been any of them.
You can only work out which brother by having either them or their descendants test as well.
Step 1:
Do a test with Ancestry and 23 and Me
If you had to pick one, pick Ancestry as it is easier to use for research, however if you want to maximise your chances, do both as some people test on at 23 & Me to find out their ethnicities.
Follow all instructions about registering your test.
Step 2:
If you have any known blood relatives - ask them if they will consider testing. If you are looking for father, you can test a maternal relative like your Mum, half sibling, cousin, aunt etc and it will later help you know which matches are paternal (all the ones that your maternal side does not share).
Step 3.
Start building a tree of all the people you know about in your family. Also talk to anyone who might know about the circumstances of your birth.
People will often be looking for different reasons and any clue can help later on. Were you adopted or donor conceived?
Did you Surrey Mum have a holiday fling with a lad whose favourite team was Manchester City? Do they have any clue about the possible age of the father?
Many parents won’t divulge any information - and thats okay - we can often work without it.
As you build your tree, don’t just go back in history but also try and see if you can work out who people married, who their children were and who they married. Knowing the family surnames can help in identifying maternal and paternal lines.
My main go to for working all this information out is the Ancestry website (requires subscription) and also an amazing site called Free BMD. Free BMD includes Births, Marriages and Deaths up to the ‘90s in England and Wales. For Scotland you will need Scotland’s People which requires subscription and you can also search names in other people’s family tree’s and find useful info there.
Step 4:
The test is back but what are all these names?!
When the test comes back and if you have opted in, you will see a list of names appear together with XX cm - the xx being a number.
These are all the people who have tested who share dna with you and the cm is for centimorgans and shows much dna you both share. The people at the top of the list are your closest relatives - for instance we share about 3,485cms with our parents.
Which brings me to another great website; https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4
This website is like a calculator for DNA - you insert the number of cms you share with someone and then it tells you the possible relationships you could have with them.
The only certain cm number is that of parent and child (however if your parent is an identical twin, you would also share about 3,485cms with them. However most other numbers can include different possibilities.
At this stage also upload to other websites like My Heritage and Gedmatch. There are even more but these are the main ones I use. You can’t do your test elsewhere and upload to Ancestry and 23&Me.
Step 5:
If you see someone you think might be from the side you are researching, SCREENSHOT everything. If your close relative is on Ancestry and they see a possible child pop up - they might be unnerved and block you, even a cousin might. If you don’t have time to screenshot, make your own account private until you area ready to deal with it.
Screenshot their profile details, their family tree and names list and most importantly - all your shared matches with them (you will need to subscribe to Ancestry for this info).
Step 6:
Sort those matches: Creating a Leeds Chart / Colour Coding
There is lots of useful information out there about how to do it, so I will refer you here on rather than explain myself… https://www.danaleeds.com/dna-color-clustering-the-leeds-method-for-easily-visualizing-matches/
Creating a chart Leeds or otherwise is a good way of seeing the clusters your match fit in to. The simple Leeds version is designed to see the four grandparent groups and is admittedly harder with British tests (not so many of our closer relatives have tested). However is still worth doing. I eventually go on a create a spreadsheet where I have cross referenced all the names over 40cms and that helps me build a picture of where people fit.
This can also be done more easily with Ancestry’s inbuilt colour coding.
Step 7:
Once you have sorted all your matches - have a look at their family trees and see if there are any names which pop up lots in one cluster - this is called a common ancestor - and if it connects two of your matches - it likely will connect you too.
If you go to message anyone: make sure you know all you can and screenshot everything first.
Step 8:
ARGHHHHH I UNDERSTAND NONE OF THIS! Help Me!
and thats okay too, there is help out there.
If you are keen to work out who your unknown parent is but need help or you’re on a budget and can’t afford to hire a genetic genealogist - go and have a look on face book for the many groups offering help.
Of the top of my head there is DNA Detectives UK which is the one I have helped people in to identify their parent’s families and there is also DNA Detectives which is similar but it is an American / International based version. You need to ask for a ‘Search Angel’, check the files at the top of the page and make sure you include the required information in your request. Any search angels who are available can then respond to your request.
Different search angels have different skills so giving the right info will ensure you find the best person to help, especially if you have American ancestry - you will want someone who understands American records and has access to the full database.
You can also ask for advice to help you on your way and learn better how to do the process yourself.
Step 9:
Nah, I got no time for all this!
Using a site like Ancestry is going to take time, unless you are very lucky and find a parent / child match on there. Volunteers on the free sites are keen to help but will often require you to do steps as well.
If you would rather outsource this issue, look in to hiring a genetic genealogist - I’d be happy to chat if you want to take this route.
Good Luck: I have managed to help 6 people since September to identify unknown families so far and that is from being entirely self taught , there is something magic about looking at the results and seeing where two people had a child and that child can now own their own heritage, and know their place in the family.
Regretfully I can’t offer free help here as my paid work and helping people within the group takes my time.